Here are five programs NOT to run this summer (but wouldn't be cool if we did? Actually, you should probably run these and get back to me about how they went).
Dreams and Reality Day
We all can DREAM big, but let’s face it: you’re not going to be an actress. Hear from some local menial laborers who break their backs for chump change about what they wanted to be when they were your age. Practice some things you’ll really use, like washing dishes and mowing the lawn for no allowance. You’ll be sent home with a craft that even a moron can do. Bask in the empty praise from your parents while you can get it. Ages 5+
Pluto’s Not a Planet Anymore
My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us… Nothing. That’s right, when I was your age I learned all about the planet Pluto; only to be told as an adult that it isn't one. What else could possibly be a lie? Can we trust grownups at all? Find out during this informative program guaranteed to put you on Santa’s Good List. (Speaking of…) Ages 8+
Stupid-Ass Movie Marathon
Stare mindlessly at a screen while your parents enjoy some alone time for one God-damn minute, for Fuck’s Sake. Ages 3+
(okay, so we are actually showing a movie, but doesn't this encapsulate what it's really about?)
Sa-weeeeet Dreams Afternoon Sleepover
Come and take a nap at the library. Not sure if you’ll have awesome dreams? You’re in luck today! We’ll have a local drug representative handing out free Benadryl. Fall asleep watching Pan’s Labyrinth. Write or draw about your dreams at the Story Action Pod and be a part of what will surely the freakiest book we've ever made! Ages 8+
Spaceship: Could You Survive?
We’ll lock you in a closet for five hours. That’s pretty much it. Life sucks as an astronaut, doesn't it? Ages 5+