Thursday, February 23, 2012

Egyptology; is it 1994 already?!

This week, by popular demand, I made the final Wednesday-ology based on Ancient Egypt.

I started off the afternoon by reading off some choice trivia facts from Listverse's 15 Fascinating Facts about Ancient Egypt. Listverse will definitely be a place to go for information to use in future programs. If there's one thing I've learned about elementary kids: when out of the "school day" element, never underestimate their motivation to learn stupid useless shit. The more useless, the nastier, the weirder, the better. Seriously, for the amount of times my weekly trivia team in Tallahassee won the second-to-last-place condolence baked goods at the (ridiculously awesome God I miss them) local bar, all we really needed to get ahead was a 9-year-old.
I had them create their own name tags by writing their names "in hieroglyphics" using the same old-looking scrap paper that I used for Jolly Rogers in Pirateology and backgrounds in Monsterology.

I also had them create mummies using toilet paper and troll dolls.

This is because there are troll dolls aplenty in the basement. I had to check Wikipedia just to be sure, but yup: the last time that troll dolls were actually popular was when I collected them in 4th through 6th grade, ending their reign in 1994.

Regretfully, we have no pogs in the basement. I need a new slammer.

PROTIP: Troll dolls have butts. My recommendation, which seemed to work well when my kids got too silly, was to put a moratorium on the word "butt." We all said it one last time, loudly; I let them laugh for about 5 seconds, and then told them whoever said "butt" again would have to leave the Ology program.
Because sometimes, Bryce just don't play. Ain't no time; gotsta mummify.


  1. TROLL MUMMIES!! YES!! I would have loved to do this in 1994 or ummm... now.